Qualities of a great networker.

When people tell me networking doesn’t work it’s usually their fault. Three of the biggest mistakes people make are…

1. Trying to sell from the word go.
2. Trying to sell a product or service people don’t want or don’t understand.
3. Inconsistent attendance.

Networking does work when you work at it. So, what are the qualities of a great networker?

1. Successful networkers realise that it’s all about building mutually respectful relationships. People often talk about the know, like and trust factor. When you spend time getting to know people and learning what matters to them that grows. Successful networkers work hard at cultivating and maintaining relationships even when the potential for payback is not obvious.
2. The best networkers are present and focused. They park their troubles and their to do lists outside the door before walking into a networking meeting. They give their full attention to the person that they’re talking to. They’re not looking over shoulders for someone more interesting. They remain present and focused until extricating themselves, graciously, from a conversation.
3. A great networker is curious. They want to know about the people they meet, their businesses, their knowledge, their experience and often their lives. They are interested in their contacts as people and business leaders. They ask open questions that allow others to talk and share interesting information. They make their conversations about the other person, not themselves.
4. Generosity is another quality shared by accomplished networkers. They share knowledge, ideas, events and, once there is sufficient trust, their contacts. They do this without any expectation of receiving something in return but in the knowledge that most good networkers will look for ways to return the favour.
5. The best networkers are reliable. They do what they say they are going to do. They keep their promises, and they communicate so you know what is happening.
6. Sir Dave Brailsford says that moaning is a loser’s habit. I couldn’t agree more. There are those that say you become the average of the five people you spend most time with. I’m less sure about this one. What I do know is that we need to surround ourselves with positive People who can lift us when we’re down. People who can see the silver lining in every cloud. People who will be positive about us. We all need positive people in our networking communities.
7. Great networkers are collaborative. They actively seek ways to work with others in their community. This might include co-hosting an event, promoting each other’s offers, putting a combined offer together, some joint PR, and can be putting in a joint bid for work. My biggest contracts have come when I have collaborated with other business owners to tender for projects that a sole trader on her own could never have won. 25 years ago, I won a six-year contract worth over £100,000 by collaborating with a competitor and another business owner who had expertise we didn’t. That was transformational for my business, my skills, and my confidence.
8. Networking works best when you are open. Whether that is open to ideas or people. Too many of us are too swift to judge others. We allow first impressions to dictate our subsequent actions. This is dangerous. First impressions are typically formed in 7 seconds. We then spent the next age editing out any information which conflicts with our first impressions. But people attending networking events are often nervous or unsure. They may be introverts who hate walking into a room full of people. They may put on a mask to try to conceal their uncertainty. We need to make allowances. We should give people a chance. By being kind and supportive to new people we allow them to settle into their best selves. And when people are relaxed we can see them as they truly are.
9. And this leads me to my next point. Great networkers show up as themselves. They recognise that they may not be everyone’s cup of tea but they’re comfortable with that. They know that by being themselves the right people will do business with them or recommend them. It’s hard to maintain a lie and when we put on an act that’s essentially what we are doing. Some people would call this being authentic. I don’t like the word, but you might.
10. The very best networkers are the ones who are consistent and disciplined in their follow up. They arrange 1-2-1s with new contacts. They connect on social media. They invite people to join their mailing list (note the word ‘invite’, they don’t add people without permission). And they don’t just follow up once. They stay in touch. They share opportunities and invitations.
11. Networking is a long game. You won’t win at it unless you are consistent. That means showing up in the same groups on a regular basis. It means showing up as the same person… if you have more than one business, I suggest using different networking communities for each, at least until you are well known. It means showing up with the same values and the same message. No, that does not mean showing up with the same words every time! If your introductions are the same every time people will stop listening. Change the words but not the core message.
12. That brings me to my final point and one that many people get wrong… clear communication. If people don’t understand what you do and who you do it for how can they recommend their friends and associates to you? Who is your ideal client? Why do they need what you offer? What problems do they have that you fix? How do you fix them? What makes you different to other solutions? Why should someone choose you? A good test is would your 90-year-old granny or a five-year-old child understand your message? Another way to check is to ask another regular networker to introduce you. Does their introduction make sense? Does it convey the essentials? If not, you have work to do.

I don’t claim to be a great networker. Like most of us I’m a work in progress. My number one priority is to get better at follow up and that means making more time for the 1-2-1s and calling myself out when I’ve been too swift to judge someone based on a first impression. What do you need to do to become a better networker?