Networking is about building relationships.
We connect with a mix of logic and emotion, so we need to connect on both levels when we’re networking. We’ve heard the old mantra we need to know, like and trust before we buy, recommend, or collaborate with you. We want to know who you are not just what you are. You are more than the label you wear.
We need to remember that not everyone will like us and that’s OK. There’ll be people we’re not naturally drawn to either. They are not our customers or collaborators. We need to be gracious and move on.
So who are you, we really want to know…
- What are your passions and how do you live them?
- What are your beliefs and how do you practice them?
- What are your core values and how do these show up?
- What are your hobbies?
- How do you like to spend your time off?
These things can help us to find things in common.
Create an emotional connection
Your aim is to create an emotional connection with the people you meet… show enough of your personality to engage… you choose how much detail you want to reveal. Give us a flavour, it doesn’t have to be a 5 course dinner with accompanying flight of wines!
Tell us stories… stories create connections and are memorable.
When we tell and listen to stories neurons fire in our brains… our brain lights up and triggers us to remember what we’re hearing.
Oxytocin is often referred to as the bonding hormone. It can help with the building of empathy and with it relationships. Story telling increases its release… and so can hugs and touch.
Dopamine is released when we learn something new, or when we are really interested or inspired by something. Dopamine helps us remember things, so tell us something new or inspire us with your story and we’re much more likely to remember.
Endorphins are released when we laugh or when our emotions are aroused. Endorphins improve our cognitive function and promote memory formation.
I tell you these things not to give you a science lesson… my grade 5 O’level biology hardly qualifies me to do that! But to make the case for storytelling to support your networking activities.
What stories will you tell?
We want to be remembered… we want people to recall us when the right opportunity occurs. To do that they need to know who we are. It’s our job to ensure that they remember us for the right things at the right time.
Stories will help…
- they give insights into who we are and what makes us tick
- they can win hearts as well as minds
- they can improve our retention of information by up to 60%
Stories bring a freshness to our introductions.
They work with people we know and people who are new… so long as we vary them.
We need a variety of stories so that people always have something of interest to listen to.
Neil Mullarkey author of our August book of the month… In the moment… says we need a Tapas menu of stories to draw from. He suggests 10. I think its something we should constantly be adding to.
Look for a story in every day
I advocate the practice of trying to find a story in every day.
Some of those stories may not be about you but many of them should be.
Recently I’ve captured stories from
- A drawing session at a recent online meeting where the topic was ‘Feel the fear’… my left handed drawing was a surprise
- The final of the Great British Sewing Bee
- A story about locking myself out of my new phone
- An interview I did for a business video series
- Stuart Broad’s retirement from cricket and some lessons that transfer to business
- Former member Tricia Cusden buying a factory
- The WWF campaign based on Twitter’s demise
- Asking attendees to share some experiences
- The introduction round at our Ealing meeting
Here are some ideas for stories you might want to look out for that you will be able to share in the future
- What challenges have you encountered?
- What has made you laugh or cry?
- What has frustrated you?
- What have you celebrated?
- Who have you met?
- Where have you been?
- What have you read?
- What have you seen?
You’re looking for stories that reveal who you are and how you can help others? Help us to an insight of what kind of connection would be a good fit with you.
Think of … (thanks to Neil Mullarkey for these ideas)
- Stories of now… what are your challenges/goals/ambitions. What’s your vision? What are you working on? Share a recent success.
- Stories of us… showcase your values, aspirations, qualities.
- Stories of self… what brought you here?
Keep it short and simple
The skill is to tell your story succinctly… it’s a TikTok video not War and Peace.
Take inspiration from the story tellers on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. I suggest Rachel Harris at Accounting_She, Lisa Johnson and Sophie Robinson as potential role models but you probably have your own.
Make your story relevant.
Pack a punch but tell us…
Who you are… we really want to know?
